Reflections On An Ending
How it started…
Our relationship was full of ups and downs. You were absent most of the time. You left me alone and I was okay with it. I didn’t miss you. To be honest, I didn’t even think about you. I was able to focus on my goals and get stuff done. I think there was a whole year when I didn’t see you. I was super busy then. I had an active life. I guess there was no use for you. There were bigger goals on the agenda.
When you did come around, I ended up in a bad mood. Some visits were better than others. Sometimes, I could maintain my daily activities with little disruption other times, I would lay in bed grouchy and irritable, anticipating your departure and my days were lost.
The world didn’t slow down or stop or even wait for me to get in the zone again. It just kept going and I had to find a way to keep up. And now here we are, close to the end of our journey together and I’m experiencing a slight feeling of loss. Loss of possibilities, loss of nurturing potentials, loss of, dare I say, a friend. You’ve become a companion. One thing I began to count on to always show up. Inconveniently…
How it’s going…
The Curse: How the fuck do you think I feel?
Me: Wow. You are feisty as fuck.
The Curse: Damn right. I’m your fucking period. Do you think I have time to play nice? No. I’ve got a job to get done.
Me: You seem so masculine in your assertiveness.
The Curse: Don’t you mean “bitch? I sound like a “bitch”, right?
Me: Well, no. I was just thinking that you might be soft and understanding and sympathetic kind of like a mother, but I guess I was wrong.
The Curse: Look, being your period is not for the weak or the faint of heart. I’ve toughened up over the years. You might understand why.
Me: I do. Because I curse you.
The Curse: Because I have been mostly neglected, misunderstood and largely swept under the rug. You’d be a tough cookie too if you had to put up with this shit.
Me: Oh my god. I am so sorry. So what did you want to communicate?
The Curse: I wanted to communicate that you are absolutely right, it is a man’s world which is the ONLY reason why I’m an inconvenience. Let’s just say that if you were allowed to slow down and give your body the care and attention it needs, you wouldn’t perceive me this way.
For instance, the 40 hour work week – fine for a man, hell on the body of a woman. Women need rest and reflection. With no time for reflection, my essence gets neglected.
Me: I understand.
The Curse: Let’s just say that society’s unwillingness to look at, study, or talk about me over the years has created a mystery around me that doesn’t need to be. Do you know what do we do with mysterious phenomena? We project our fears, dark imagery and negative beliefs. Sure, there can be those who are curious and intrigued by me but most, are fearful of my domain.
Me: You are 100% right. I know I have personally failed to ask questions or learn more about you. It’s just not something we’re taught to do.
Menses: I know. I understand.
Me: Ok, you’re softening.
Lady Moon: Of course I am. Do you see how soft I REALLY am? I mean, I can be a tough cookie (no pun intended) but really, I’m a big ol’ softy and it really doesn’t take much coaxing to get me to open up. Pun intended.
Me: So, how can I be more in communion with you instead of neglecting you?
Lady Moon: That’s easy. Take the time to be with me. If you spent more time nurturing me, I wouldn’t have to come on like gang-busters to get your attention. We could have a more balanced relationship so there would be no reason to nag you. But, you’re going to have to fight for your right to spend time with me. After all, it’s a man’s world.
Me: How do I keep company with you?
Lady Moon: Well, vaginal steaming is a good one. Masturbation, also a good one. And – don’t masturbate like a man. Enjoy the journey.
You could read to me, sing me a lullaby.
Me: Ok, you’re killing me. Are you serious?
Lady Moon: I am. I mean, I was being cheeky but yes, you could most definitely do those things.
You can send me energy through the hands by placing them on the lower belly and conjuring heart energy for a few minutes. Nothing crazy. I’m fairly easy to please. I just need to know that you care. Castor oil packs are also soothing. Add some herbs and I’m in heaven. (This is not medical advice)
You don’t have to wait for that “time of the month” to tend to me. In fact if you tend to me regardless, I’m much less likely to be that assertive bitch you refer to as “The Curse” and am more likely to be the soft kitty cat you call “Lady Moon”.
Your womb is a portal of creation so any energy you put into it is like nurturing any creative endeavor you choose to give birth to. And, it makes me happy.
Me: I don’t want to start any conspiracy theories, but could this be why we are locked into somebody else’s version of reality? Because we don’t recognize our ability or capacity to create?
Lady Moon: Most definitely. We fear femininity in both men and women. It’s powerful yet, can be uncontrollable. The more you connect to your energetic womb, the more you tap into the infinite source of all creation.
Me: Why is it so feared?
Lady Moon: I think you know. It’s feared because it is unknowable by the intellectual mind. Those heavily reliant on their intellect to understand reality struggle to master it and often attempt to control it.
“The greatest illusion is trying to control what is inherently uncontrollable.” — Buddha
Me: Ah, so is this where the war on women comes from?
Lady Moon: Absolutely. However, as long as women learn to connect to the power between their legs—
Me: hey!
Lady Moon: Sorry. Couldn’t help myself. As I was saying, as long as women learn how to connect to this powerful force, this energetic source of creative energy, they cannot be controlled.
One important caveat to this is that this force can be destructive when used unconsciously. It requires mastery.
This next part gets personal…
Lady Moon: You finally learned how to master yours.
Me: I did?
Lady Moon: Yeah, your creative energy was undisciplined for much of your life.
Me: It was?
Lady Moon: Oh come on. Don’t act like you don’t know.
Me: I know.
How am I mastering it now, though? I’m not sure I feel like I’ve mastered anything. I’m a novice at almost all of my creative outlets.
Lady Moon: Doesn’t matter. As long as you carve out space for your creative energy to flow, you’ll begin to master it more and more. You’re cultivating a relationship with it outside of the need for approval from others. This is the ONLY place to create from.
Me: Ok, I’ll keep creating regardless of the level of cringe.
Lady Moon: Good girl.
